Meant to be ?

Life is beautiful, she always said, followed by God is kind in quick succession. 

She had been through her fair share of bad judgement coupled with destiny adventures in her life. She took them in her stride, always focusing on the bright side. The relationship may not have worked, but it got her to Bombay. The relationship may not have survived but that meant she dint move to a non English speaking greyer skies part of the world. She always focused on the silver lining that every misadventure brought her way. 

But, sometimes in quieter moments, there sat some what ifs on her mind. What if this meant something, or what if the timing was off, not the person. On the outside, she had a full life, professionally doing okay, living abroad, a partner, social circle, travel - the works. These days, the quieter moments were growing from sometimes to every other day. If the instagram tarot readers are to be believed, it is simply mercury retrograde, followed by another one. And a year of massive change ! Jokes aside, the voices were becoming louder - what if she was meant to have something more that her heart yearns for. She felt a void,  a pause, a space for something as if life was waiting for her to take action on her instincts without wanting to safeguard her present reality, because what doesn't truly excite you, should give space to something that does, she thought to herself. 

She had known him for half a decade, they'd clicked, chatted and somehow for their first meeting, she agreed to meet him in his city and spend the night over at his house. She was a dreamer, a hopeless romantic but she never saw him again after that night. She often thought of him in her quiet moments, but he had moved across continents, so she limited herself to social media for updates on his life. Life chugged along. Years later, he reached out. Miraculously.  She was seeing someone but it was rather tumultuous so she kept it from him. Shouldn't have but she did. She caught herself smiling more often, day dreaming more often. But eventually, she had to face to the truth, conflicted as she was, she confessed. They stayed in each other's lives, as friends. Atleast thats what she told herself. He would call her sometimes, early morning over the weekends. She always found herself somehow knowing, waking up and answering within an hour. Strange she thought to herself, her phone was always on silent, no notifications came,  and yet she somehow almost always knew, even while sleeping. 

He hasn't spoken to her in months, she's blocked from his socials and hasn't returned her calls. She thinks of him often, checks if the text might get delivered. When it doesn't, she thinks and overthinks. The why, the meaning, the reason, the lesson even. 

Sometimes, we carry people with us , unknowingly, unconsciously,  they are always in our thoughts, our prayers. These are the people who were meant to be. If not in this life (as he said), then maybe in the next one ?