Silence and Tears..

This is the acceptance entry for being awarded the Perfect poet (week40)!! Also, I would like to nominate rajlakshmi for her entry: Song of eternal wait !

This Poem was awarded the Poem of the Week Award here:  
Week 7, Gooseberry Garden!


As she lay her eyes on the sparkling diamond in his hand,

she could hardly believe, it was happening & she would need, for him, a band!

Little did she realise, it wasn't for her,

until he said-" What would she say? Tell me, as if you it were..."

The smile faded, the sparkle in her eyes died..

In the end, it was her who cried.

Forever alone, she felt herself to be..

incapable she'd become to feel the love that everyone else could see..

She said to the empty heart in her sleep,

"how do I 'move on' when in remembrance I weep.."

She'd lived all she wanted to,

there was no purpose, nothing more to do..

She moved to a new city; changed workplaces,

yet everything still carried his traces..

what he would have said, what he'd have done..

The same scent, the same voice in her head; With him everywhere, how far could she run?

She stopped one day, sat by the waves,

thinking of him and what she craves..

It wasn't love, it wasn't him, it wasn't memories, not the promises;

she just wanted his presence like water in the crevices..

that comes and goes, but never stays..

the shore never has any hopes to raise

like the wind that blows

the flake that snows

they come and go,

but, never in parting have any sorrow to show.

To freedom to call and to talk,

to hear little trivia on the long long walk,

to see him everyday & to share ghost stories for hours,

bicker over tea or coffee & whether he's really from Mars!

She's living in a vaccum, with no rescue,

There's only darkness, but maybe with a silver hue!

My entry for:
Poetry Picnic Week 7: Love and Loss
Gooseberry Garden: http://gooseberryygoespoetic.blogspot.com

Happiness maybe..

Many a times I sit and wonder,
why we act and then ponder!
its never the other way round...
the world is one messed up ground!

You know it would be so much simpler,
if we could just live without looking like a crimpler..
like the famous Buffet and Gate,
the eyes of everyone sans all hate!

Alas, reality checks are but missing,
and don't come without the reactive hissing!
When seldom do we think..
Then it's natural that often we sink..

There are regrets and rememberences,
the rest are just futile wishes..
seeking the world for happiness,
when it really lies in loneliness!

Be with yourself today,
and you'll be on the happiness way!

This poem has been published as a part of Thursday Poets Rally, Week 40

To have loved and lost..

He is an enigma,
an intellect and decidely indifferent,
She is vivacious, a lesser enigma,
woman & child at once, yet a little distant.

Furtive glances are exchanged,
coffee outings are framed,
pitter patter of raindrops is heard,
Everything is said without a word..

More intimate now, they read morning papers together,
go shopping for groceries in the most romantic weather.
They look perfect, are inseparable
losing each other, the thought is unbearable.

Another day, another story,
there he is, with someone, maybe temporary.
She wonders, one arguement could break us?
Cries & shouts, could he really transgress?

To get him back, she moves heaven and earth,
he cannot see what she is worth..
She resigns, wishes him well,
in solitude, her eyes bleed & swell..

She sees them everyday, share meals & rides,
workplace isn't always paradise.
No one to answer her plea,
She is miles away from the hint of glee..

Repeated efforts and all come to a naught,
but really,to have loved and lost?
Soon they will tie the knot,
while she is torn in colors for the cot..

This Post has been Published as a part of

A visit to the neighbour next door!

The 2230 Goa bound Volvo is now stopping for the fourth time. This time its for tea in Goa at 0715. The next few hours are the most difficult I think, with no beach in sight and nothing different about this ride than the one in Morni hills in Chandigarh. Oh, how I want to see a beach now. I think to myself that its probably after a wait of years, ever since the failed plan when I was still in school, that I am finally getting to Goa..

The feeling is unparalleled. You know when you really want something for years and then one fine day, you just get it. You don't even know how to revel in the joy of it all. You think there hasn't been much time to celebrate, but this journey has really given me the time to think, assess, thank and celebrate.

Getting off at the Mapusa stand, it is the sweltering heat that de-freezes me instantly and my complaints begin. Trying to ignore it all, I want take a good first look at Goa. Before anything registers, a hoard of taxi and auto drivers surround me, let the bargaining begin.

The auto looks like a little vintage piece, with doors on either side complete with the slider windows, alongwith curtains separating the driver from us! Very cozy, unlike Goa as I will learn shortly. With no beach in sight, I'm beginning to lose patience. But, just as I'm about to alight, I see before myself, the vast expanse of the deep blue waters stretching till infinity and the warm beige carpet of sand welcoming me.      

As I walk towards the water, the sand tries hard to contain me where I am. I reach the shore, but my co-passenger insists we check in and come back later. It's as if I'm being punished, inflicted with this strange pain. I return, after 60 minutes of deprivation. This time, I run towards it, with such passion, that only the salt of it all brings me back. It is bliss, or something more, I don't know.

What I do know is: It felt pristine when the waves touched my feet for the first time. I came to know what it was to have earth move beneath me. I called out to myself, repeating one word, "Goddess", a zillion times. I noticed shells, that waves would leave and take back again. I wrote my name only to see it get washed away. I tasted sea. I held sand in my palm. I had a dream come true. It was overwhelming & I'll sum it up in this urdu couplet:

Jalwa baqadr-e-zarf-e-nazar dekhte rahe

Kya dekhte hum unko magar dekhte rahe

Many hours, perhaps a day later..

Trying to lounge in the beach bed at the shack, I was not alone. Accompanying me were the water sports gang, the tattoo artists, the braider, the fruit seller, the little girl with papads of all shapes, the sellers with shells, books, video CDs, hair accessories & stoles! The beach was a sight to behold with the swarm of foreigners; trying to get that much wanted tan; blend in effortlessly with the chuda-clad couples, the castle builders, the India SA match watchers & groups of friends everywhere.

I get my adrenaline rush with para-sailing amidst hallucinated glimpses of Salman Khan as I ride the water scooter. The bumper ride ended before it could start, and the banana ride leaves me breathless and alkaline! The butterfly tattoo on my ankle is nearly washed away in my joyous chapp-chapp with the sea & its waves. The braider manages to get the orange, purple and fluroscent green hue in my hair as I sip on another bottle of Coke, not Kings beer!

It is great to lie here and then to just lie here. The sojourns around town for shopping aren't very therapeutic as the responses I get are rude and arrogant especially the night market! So, it's great to just lie here. It's peaceful even though it's not serene. It's beautiful, even though it's not crystal clean. It is breath taking. It's my favourite neighbour.