Life - as we discovered in a recent post is transient and evolving incessantly.
Today, I will go a step further and say that life is transient because us humans are evolving with every single breath we take.
What we wanted yesterday, may have blurred in the background and given way to something more tangible (or intangible for that matter) today.
I just happened to watch the latest Netflix release - Haseen dilruba. Now, this is content which is contemporary and so relevant in today's times. Well, atleast that is how I feel.
When we talk about love, more often than not, we (okay fine - I) talk about it as a very dreamy, fairytale concept. And love is anything but a dreamy fairytale with a happily ever after.
Love needs work, it needs constant nurturing and above all, it needs the people in love to be honest with each other.
The movie has some very real moments - guy meets girl in an arranged marriage setup, realises that the girl is out of his league ( well, this also gets quoted later by the female lead :)) and then wants her even more. In his own symbolic and cute ways, he portrays her love for her.
I mean I do have a point of view on the name tattoo being a symbol of eternal love because tattoos, as we all know, are some of the easiest to cover up with a new one instantly. But, I will accord the benefit of doubt to the male lead for using this to showcase the depth of his love for her. Also, because when she transgresses later and he literally asks her to leave or to stay and get killed, he doesn't even think of getting the tattoo covered up!
All the characters in the movie are flawed to an extent, and that's one of the things I love about them. Being portrayed as human, as capable of loving, being disappointed, being stupid, as capable of even cheating and even capable of hurting the other on purpose.
Sorry for digressing, back to the plot. Girl comes home, adept at beauty hacks and inept at cooking. Mother-in-law takes to disliking her even before she arrives. Boy and girl try to make this set-up work, try to understand each other and meet each other's expectations. She is, however, dissatisfied with his performance in bed, in what seems to be the only time they indulge in sexual activity.
He overhears her voicing her dissatisfaction to her confidantes over a phone call ! That's a big blow to his ego and he completely shuts down.
As is what happens in real life all too often, the two fall through the cracks and any and all communication between them comes to a halt. What's good though is the portrayal of the girl as a confident, vocal woman. I love the realness of the character.
Despite the lack of any communication, what's beautiful is that they continue to stay with each other, deal with their disappointments and possible traumas with each other, everyday.
& right here is where a third person enters and the girl falls for him. She transgresses. This person is a coward and is gone as quickly as he came.
Without a fuss, with utmost honesty, she confronts her truths and confesses them to the husband. He is obviously, heart broken beyond measure. And here is where the love actually starts.
For starters, none of this is ever mentioned explicitly to any blood relatives, even though the entire town has a whiff of things. What's more - the guy shields her from the roadside romeos who are clearly disrespectful and way out of line.
Even after all that has happened, she tries to talk to him, and he refuses to give in. And just because they are still living together, the obvious begins to simmer. They bend a little more even though she goes through the aches and pains which his deliberate actions put her through (not with a smile but she does) !
He threatens to kill her, she says to him point blank, do it and get done with it, and if not, to forgive her and start over.
They make an attempt and they fall back in love but it's not as uncomplicated as it looks. As fate would have it, they end up with a murder on their hands and how they work through that is just, simply out of the realm of the ordinary (I clearly don't have words to express this - I mean giving your hand up and to do it willingly for love, I mean, this kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life, but then again, the bringing to life of the sentiment of "jaan de dunga" in the movie is beyond imagination.
And all this in the name of love. Love that has had its ups and downs, has hurt one another, has had even other people involved in the equation. And yet, finding a way back to each other and doing the unthinkable for the one who transgressed - that's love!
Love is not just about one person, it's about both the people involved. It's not about mud slinging on the other, just because they did something which wasn't acceptable to you.
Love is as much about working through issues and being persistent, as it is about taking a time out to think things over. Love is about finding your way back home everyday and shielding one another even though you may be hurting from the inside.
Love is never about making one look bad and attempting to isolate from people they love and turn for advice to. Love is never about blaming each other.
Love is just love. Understood only by some and experienced by even less.
Here's wishing you all lots of love and light in your lives !
PS - I am firmly on the side of no domestic violence and cringed at watching her go through stair slips and burns, but, then I am also against transgressing. So I was very conflicted throughout the movie but, the last 30 minutes were defining for me and made me believe in love all over again.
PPS - the sound track is beautiful, here are lyrics from one of the songs -
Mila yun jaise bichada na tha, mila yun,
Khila yun jaise bigada na tha, khila yun !
Mera hai tu mera !
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