I haven't written in a while.. So here I am. There is so much going on in my mind at the moment, that I don't remember when was the last time I slept through the night. What happened you ask. Nothing big, no.
I am just waiting for a text that I know will not come. But I wait. I try reasoning with myself but this knot refuses to ease out. I thought the idea was to become more careful as we got older, but I threw caution to the wind and for a while life was beautiful. There were ebbs and flows, highs and lows, but it was beautiful.
I am waiting for a sign that makes me feel seen, with all my wisdom of validation should be internal. Its more than validation, it's confirmation that it was real. It might have been ephemeral but it was real.
Everything aside, now I think I am at a point, where even if the tarot women on Instagram stop telling me there will be a reconciliation, I will also take that as a valid sign. :) I will, okay, maybe I won't. But I really want to stop drowning in the sea of my thoughts, and its hard to do that, while watching the sea and the surfboard a thousand times a day.
Maybe a smooth landing at the shore awaits. Maybe not. Usually not, but maybe its time for a miracle!
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