The Magic of Fairy Godmothers !

Of life and it's glory, 

Many an untold story,

Somedays are a breeze, 

Some days I can barely breathe.. 

We go through the ups and downs, 

And dare to climb the toughest mounts, 

Ready to face it all, 

With an enthusiastic smile and all ! 

The comfort lies in one single fact,

This relationship will forever stay intact! 

No matter what I choose, 

Her I will never lose. 

I know she is right beside me, 

Whether I laugh or I weep..

Sometimes, she knocks sense into my head,

Other times we are painting the town red! 

You know who you are, 

Just as I know how blessed I am..

To have you in my life, 

But, thankfully not as my wife (teeheehee)!

Mwah! This one is for friendship that's thicker than blood!

Draining conversations !

Have you ever had someone in your sphere of influence who can basically rant about the same thing relentlessly for hours, days, weeks and even months? Such people, in my opinion, are having that conversation with a one-point agenda i.e. to get you to agree to their point of view. There are only two ways of ending this kind of an utterly draining, tiring and fuck-all conversation:

If by some some divine luck, you still want them around in your life - be a yes man (or woman), agree to all they say and peace will be yours to keep. Well, not really! because these people will now take this opportunity to talk down at you and say - I told you so. It may be accompanied by an occasional misplaced and untimely laughter and ridicule from their end. 

The other and more permanent way to end this kind of a conversation is to basically throw these people out of your life. This will ensure you don't get drained of your energy and can actually invest the time in having more intellectually stimulating conversations with interesting people. 

There might just be another way to put an end to such conversations and that is by being mature enough to bury the hatchet and move on for good. But, that takes two to tango. 

This seldom happens with folks who take the liberty of slinging mud on you and then absolving themselves of creating any bad blood by pointing a finger at you and saying well you did this to yourself, you brought it upon yourself. You know they are right, because, come to think of it, you did give them access to you, bring them close to you without really fully understanding who they are and what they are capable of. But, as they say, it's never too late to accept and acknowledge to yourself that you made a mistake and took a wrong decision of letting these people in. And that is when you set yourself free of their drama. 

Did you notice, how I was trying to make a point about peaceful co-existence by burying the hatchet and that took a U-turn and ended up in the inevitable outcome! in a nutshell, let these people go from your life, only then can you experience a peaceful and happy life ! 

Strong !

She had assumed good intent,

And wished for a blissful co-existence. 

And yet, here she was, grappling with how people are so double faced, 

Quick to judge, to dismiss and to violate, at the first opportunity. 

She zoned in and out of every conversation,

Did her judgement err again ?

She questioned herself,

Her mind was conflicted..

How could a person pretend to be so evolved, 

When they are actually stuck in stone age ?

Imagine this - 

At the mention of an issue and demand for transparency, 

from bringing flowers and wanting to speak to an expert, 

To mud slinging and accusing of mental instability.  

Imagine this -

A display of gung-ho enthusiasm for a vacation funded by her, 

And a cry of unaffordability for an attempt to save the relationship ?

Imagine this - 

Making tall claims about being a travel junkie,

And failing to make a single trip beyond (or even within) city limits ? 

Being a woman in this country, 

esp the north, is a nightmare. 

Being an independent woman with a voice and an intellect, 

Well, intimidating for the men here (that explains the no holds barred attack).

These men quickly suggest taking away cellphones from us women, 

I mean laughable in 2021, but this is the sad reality,

And clearly, an age old tactic to take away social support, 

Because they think our souls will break and weaken in isolation. 

She came to terms with the fact that she had been abandoned rather quickly. 

What if this was to happen in a foreign land.

Well, she knew she would have been kick-ass even then,

It would have just caused some unnecessary cargo movements. 

That she will live through this traumatic experience, 

wasn't something she imagined. 

Not after all these years! 

Grateful for her safe space,

Sitting here, she thought to herself -

How privileged she was, thinking of what would have happened if she was to be in a remote village.. 

She prayed for the women there and hoped for the best for them. 

Thankful that the insanity that had taken over her life had passed, 

Peace had been restored.

What's more - she felt whole!

Right where she was, with who she was, 

And she knew now, more than ever before,

Those who fly solo, have the strongest wings. 

- This one is for strong women - may we know them, may we be them and may we raise them!

Ramblings of 2021

Today's post is going about ramblings as they come to my mind and I promise I will publish this unedited. You know why, because, one thing that I am is brave. 

Today I spoke to a long lost friend after ages (I mean really speaking! of course we text each other all the time). We both realised that the last decade has just flown by.. and that is life - so transient, so fluid. 

Yet, all I have wanted from my life all these years is for it to be stable. For it to be defined in concrete terms and it dawned upon me today that, it's ironical for us humans to want to define and hold something in our hands, exactly the way we have been imagining it, when the nature of it is to be fluid and to go on and to take unanticipated, unexpected turns all the time. I mean that's what life is all about - isn't it?

To be honest, I feel grateful, as I sit here and look back at my life. I am content. I don't have complaints - really, I don't. And one of the reasons for that is that I know my decisions have shaped my life, at least ever since I moved to Bombay. The city that made me who I am today - independent, free and confident. Comfortable in my own skin, not afraid to call out the wrongs and willing to stand by and live the consequences of doing the right thing. 

I can safely say that a lot of people find their contentment in toeing the line that has been drawn out for them. I did that once and it did not work out as others would have expected. Did it pay off ? In the larger scheme of things, yes, it certainly did. It gave me the platform I had been yearning for. It gave me the freedom I so wanted all those years growing up in a protected environment that expected me to be independent too ( I know its a conflicting statement but who said we are perfect) !

And so if I had it all, what really went wrong ? (The answer shouldn't surprise anyone because this is what we all do.) Well, what went wrong was that I took my freedom for granted. I was so accustomed to the fact that independence was a given, I began to value it less and less. Until, I put myself in an awkward situation where I was expected to toe the line, to listen, and then, to even overlook lies and to carry on as if everything was fine and acceptable.

I was happy to do it, except I forgot I cannot put up with deceit. I begged for the truth to be told, it did not come. Days and weeks turned into months, nothing changed. Well, actually something changed. I realised that all I wanted was to be at peace with myself. And the fact that I was being true to myself and not agreeing to simply resign to my destiny (oh yes! deja vu from a decade earlier) was more than enough for me. 

What I have realised is that we are a sum total of all our experiences - I am that too. And I know every storm passes and that I live to see the light at the end of the tunnel, every single time. I have faith and I firmly believe that this storm has passed. What's different is that I am stronger and braver than ever before. 

What I value above all else is being honest - with myself and with those around me! I have embraced myself for who I really am and am not ashamed of it! In my eyes, I take on problems head on and I don't believe in social taboos. Well, some may hate my guts for it - so be it.  Cheers to being authentic and unapologetic !

And as I go, I will leave you with these lines by Maya Angelou:

You may write me down in history, 

with your bitter twisted lies, 

You may trod in the very dirt, 

But still, like dust, I'll rise.